Breaking The Habit Of Second-guessing/ Double-mindedness

Think about why this habit is no longer serving you and how your life might improve without it.

I have a habit of second-guessing myself. I have sudden inspirations to do great things and at that point in time, they seem really awesome and doable and exciting. But after I try them out and they seem harder than expected, or they don’t seem to work or have much positive outcomes yet… I start worrying that I may have gotten it wrong; that I heard wrongly from God, or it is not God’s will afterall and I should just give up. And I think because I lack the sort of perseverance and laser focus that is needed to get things done, I don’t achieve much in the end, despite all these great ideas. I self-sabotage, you can say…

It is a habit of fear, self-doubt, lack of confidence/ trust in myself, of giving up too soon, and not seeing things through thoroughly and to the very end… kind of like a jack of all trades, but master of none… yes, I would say this habit definitely does not serve me well.

I think my life would improve greatly if I had a laser focus toward everything I set my mind to do. And maybe I should just learn to prioritise and do less, but more of these ‘less’, as I’m afterall limited. And because then, I would not be so aimless, I would have a goal and stick to it till it is done. And when it is really done, I would get a sense of achievement and my belief in myself would be strengthened. Like my DMD course. To me, it as a personal success story and a life-changer… I need to keep reminding myself that I did that!! It is possible!! I definitely can achieve something if I set my heart and mind on it and determine to see it till the end!! There will definitely be many more things in my life I can achieve with greater confidence in my belief and the willingness to push myself forward despite obstacles.

I need to remind myself of this verse:

5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

James 1:5-8

I asked ChatGPT for some advice on what I can do about it. Seriously… I am beginning to wonder if therapists are all going to be out of jobs at this rate! It is impressive what a bot can come up with within seconds! 

Improving your focus and overcoming self-doubt, as you’ve shared, involves addressing both your mindset and your approach to tasks. Your reflections indicate a keen awareness of the challenges you face, including second-guessing, a lack of perseverance, and a tendency to self-sabotage through fear and doubt. Let’s explore strategies that could help enhance your focus and foster a more resilient mindset, building upon the insights from the knowledge I have and the verse from James 1:5-8 you’ve shared.

### 1. **Embrace a Growth Mindset**

Believe in your ability to grow and improve through effort and persistence. A growth mindset can help you view challenges as opportunities to learn rather than insurmountable obstacles. When you find yourself doubting, remember your success with the DMD course as evidence of what you can achieve.

### 2. **Set Clear, Achievable Goals**

Break down your aspirations into smaller, manageable tasks. This approach can make your projects seem less daunting and help maintain your motivation. Celebrate small victories along the way to reinforce your belief in yourself.

### 3. **Practice Mindful Self-Compassion**

Be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness, concern, and support you’d offer a good friend. This practice can reduce the fear of failure and encourage you to keep trying even when faced with setbacks.

### 4. **Develop a Routine for Focus**

Create a structured daily routine that includes dedicated time for work on your goals. Minimize distractions during these periods to help enhance your concentration. Tools like the Pomodoro Technique can help you maintain focus and give you regular breaks to rest and recharge.

### 5. **Seek Feedback and Support**

Engage with mentors, peers, or a support group who can provide constructive feedback and encouragement. External perspectives can offer valuable insights and reinforce your commitment to your goals.

### 6. **Reflect on Your Values and Purpose**

Connect your goals to your deeper values and sense of purpose. This connection can provide a powerful motivation to persevere even when challenges arise. Reminding yourself of the ‘why’ behind your actions can help sustain your focus and drive.

### 7. **Cultivate Resilience Through Spiritual Faith**

Lean on your faith as a source of strength and guidance. The verse from James emphasizes the importance of seeking wisdom from God and believing without doubt. Prayer and meditation can be powerful tools for centering yourself and seeking clarity and peace in times of uncertainty.

### 8. **Practice Gratitude**

Regularly acknowledging what you are thankful for can shift your focus from what you lack to what you have. This practice can enhance your overall well-being and reinforce a positive mindset.

### 9. **Learn from Setbacks**

View setbacks not as failures but as learning opportunities. Analyze what went wrong and what could be improved, then apply these lessons moving forward. This approach fosters a continuous learning loop where each experience, regardless of outcome, contributes to your growth.

### 10. **Prioritize Self-Care**

Ensure that you’re taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional health. Adequate rest, nutrition, exercise, and recreational activities are crucial for maintaining the energy and mental clarity needed to pursue your goals.

By incorporating these strategies into your daily life, you can work towards overcoming self-doubt and improving your focus. Remember, change is a process, and progress, no matter how small, is still progress. Celebrate each step forward and keep faith in your journey.